Oh, NYC. The Big Apple. The City So Nice They Named It Twice. (Insert all other nicknames here.) If you make it in NYC, you can make it anywhere! (However, your hipster skinny jeans are not going to keep you warm in Juno, Alaska - that is for damn sure.)
Let's get one thing straight, we love NYC. For a nice, short visit. In the summer. During July 4th.
Otherwise, we're going to argue that NYC is (earmuffs, you die hard New Yorkers) not the best city in the world. Sure, it's home to many cool companies and rich financiers and the beautiful, Matt Lauer. But, sorry Matty, aside from you, we can think of a million other places we'd rather be living.
But you love the city lights! The adventure! The endless supply of things to do!
Well, if you think you'd be a fitting New Yorker, we've designed a quick quiz for you. Answer the following questions by stating yes or no.
1) Do you enjoy lots of people in your space, including tourists (some of which do not speak the same language as you)?
If you answered yes, continue. If you said no, go home.
2) Do you enjoy having a car?
If you answered yes, continue to question 3. If you answered no, you're free to skip to question 4..
3) If you enjoy having a car, do you like spending 80% of your travel time in bumper-to-bumper traffic?
If you answered no, NYC is not for you. If you answered yes, you are fucking idiot, but continue.
4) Would you like to spend $7-$10 on a box of Fruity Pebbles?
If you answered no: fucking right. Who wants to spend THAT much on cereal? If you said yes, then we wish you and your trust fund luck on question 5.
5) Do you enjoy paying income taxes that must be figured out via a chart that is longer than your master's thesis?
No? Us either. Yes? You're totally lying, but whatever.
6) In addition to paying extra for things like groceries and those higher income taxes, would you like to pay approximately $3,418 a month...in RENT?
Of course you don't, you moron!
Because aside from Jimmy Fallon, Broadway, SNL and the New York Knicks (aka - Jay-Z), NYC is just another city.
So next time you think life in the "City that Never Sleeps" is just like an episode of Sex and the City remember this: Subways. Trash. Crowed streets. Expensive. And that nasty ass hot dog water.
You're welcome.
