sadly there are #thingslongerthankimsmarriage.

When Harold Camping announced the world was ending in October, no one believed him. Especially after that whole "May 21st" debacle.

However, no one realized he was referring to Kim Kardashian's world.

If you keep up with the Kardashian's at all, or just turned on the TV today, you will have been bombarded with news that 72 days after their $10 MILLION wedding, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting a divorce.

Is it really that much of a surprise to all of us? Of course not, considering their relationship ran its course in less than 10 months! Yes, 10 months. That includes dating, the engagement and the wedding. (There's probably a sex tape or two squeezed in there somewhere, too.)

But you still can't help but feel bad.

Feel bad for Kris Humphries? Nah. Kris will continue making more money than he deserves, so he'll be able to buy whatever expensive blow up doll he'll need to dull his aching pain.

Feel bad for the Kardashians? Nope. They'll be able to keep their Kardashian empire, Sketcher sponsorships and continual drama like normal.

Feel bad for Ryan Seacrest and E! Television? No way. Although the future of the new series "Kourtney and Kim Take New York" is unknown, Ryan's ratings are through the roof! (He confirmed the news on his Twitter account and radio show.)

So who should we feel bad for?

Kim.

But not for wasting $10 million on her ridiculous (better than Kate Middleton's) wedding. (Which she made back selling People Magazine her exclusive wedding photos and on her E! TV special.)

And we don't feel bad that she lives every second of her EXTREMELY important existence in the public eye. (What exactly does she DO?)

So WHY exactly should we feel bad for Kim Kardashian?

BECAUSE OF THIS CRAZY ASS 17 YEAR-OLD GIRL.

If there is anyone in this world who should NOT be the topic of conversation and definitely NOT headlining the news (even more than Kim!), it's Courtney Stodden.

However, after marrying 51 year-old has-been, Doug Hutchison (Of course you don't remember him!), girlfriend has been all over the news for her slutastic photos and uncontrollable (rather annoying) wacky lips. (Seen here!)

So, why should we feel bad for Kim? Because, sadly there are #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage.

6 MONTHS > 72 DAYS.

6 MONTHS IS MORE THAN 72 DAYS, KIM! Courtney Stodden, the 17 year-old, wannabe realty star/singer/model/Pamela Anderson look-a-like, has officially been married longer than you!

That is pathetic!

You kind of have your shit together! You make a ton of money, have TV shows, perfume, EVERYTHING! And you can't keep it together longer than crazy lips over here?

And for that, Kim Kardashian, I feel really bad for you. You may not deserve to be headlining CNN and clogging up all the social media outlets with your insignificant news, but to know that Courtney Stodden's marriage lasted longer than yours?

Yep. You said it.

So I guess it's official, #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage? Courtney Stodden's marriage.

halloween is about more than just sluts.

Halloween is coming up and, as usual, our expectations are extremely low.

Ladies are going to dress in something overly slutastic and men are not going to dress up because most of them are pussies. (Yep, we said it.)

So, are scantily clad women and cheap bulk candy the only things to look forward to during Halloween?

No. There is more.

There are the hilariously, brilliant and the dreadfully, awful costumes.

Some people really do love Halloween and go above and beyond with creative costumes. See below or click here for more examples!

However, others are not as lucky to have such a wildly creative gene and, well, their costumes are just plain awful. So if you're planning on dressing up for Halloween, here are some costumes you should absolutely avoid.

1) This.

Whatever THIS is. Don't do it.

2) Anything that references Facebook.

Enough is enough.

3) Couples costumes.

Not only do you no longer hang out with your friends, but now they know for a fact that she's got you by the balls.

4) Gentlemen: Your dick in a box.

We know you all want to get laid on Halloween, but come on! This is just pathetic. (Plus, the real "Dick in a Box" costume is actually funny.) There's this one, too.

5) Ladies: Anna Rexia

 

Ladies. No. Thankfully, Ricky's realized it was a bad idea before you did and took the costume down.

6) Ladies again: Nemo

Please don't do this to the female species. We already catch enough slack.

7) The Jersey Shore

But if you decide to do it, make sure to send us a picture so you can be our "Shower Pocket of the Week", you douche.

8) Celebrities that don't really deserve to have costumes.

Kate Gosselin. Sarah Palin. Waldo. Etc.

9) Any of these.

10) The Kids' Edition

Really? Someone should punch you in your un-parent-like mouth.

Still need costume ideas? Check out these celebrity ideas or visit Spirit Halloween.

Planning on exceeding our expectations with an extremely creative costume? Send us a pic to thesunnysides@live.com and we'll make sure to post it and let everyone know just how awesome you are.

Happy Halloween!

the essence of a shower pocket.

There has been an awful plague that has been sweeping the nation.

Worse than Twi-Hards and annoying Facebookers. Combined.

What is this plague that has our eyes blinded with diamond encrusted Ed Hardy wear, our noses filled with the stench of spray tan and our hate for the term "wife beaters" reemerging?

Shower pockets.

For those who are unfamiliar with the term "shower pocket", allow us to explain in one word: Douchebag. Yes, as per Urban Dictionary, "shower pocket" is a slang term for douchebag.

There are a variety of shower pockets out there, so to help the ladies avoid dating one and the men avoid being one (and being found by us! Have you seen our "Shower Pocket of the Week"?), it's only fair to explain what the essence of a shower pocket really entails and how to spot them. We have done so in a few short steps.

Step One: Identifying the shower pocket's "coat".

When in the wild urban jungle, the easiest way to spot a shower pocket is by their attire. Example? The dangerously low V-Neck (seen below).

Andy Samberg and Ben Stiller really proved how shower pocket-esque V-Necks are in their latest SNL skit "V-Necks". To get a full understanding, click here to watch the very informative video.

If you believe to have spotted a shower pocket but he is not in his traditional v-neck, checking for some of these items may help you to distinguish whether or not he is in fact an SP. These items include (but are not limited to):

The Skinny Tie.

The popped collar(s).

(Nice toilet on your shirt, you SP.)

Tapout.

(News flash! You are not tougher by wearing this.)

The vest, tank top or no shirt at all.

(Shirts MUST be two sizes too small.)

Step Two: A shower pocket's "mane".

Hair is important to women. Hair is not that important to manly-men.

And somehow, hair is overly important to shower pockets.

If your manfriend uses mousse, hairspray, gel or any haircare products that are more expensive than yours, he is, indeed, a shower pocket. Case in point: Guy Feiri. Although your food may be delicious, your hair is shower pocketastic.

Step Three: Observing the shower pocket in their natural habitat.

Where ever do you find a shower pocket? (Aside from any state that begins with "New" and Europe.)

Da club. Da gym. And da salon (for hair and tanning).

Ladies, please be wary of these locations. In order to protect yourself, we often ask that women visit these places in groups as a precaution.

There have been a few technical advances in spotting shower pockets in their favorite locations through programs and apps like Foursquare.

Step Four: Mating habits of a shower pocket.

Of course there's a video.

There is nothing more to add here.

Step Five: A shower pocket's brain is not located where normal men's brains are located.

If you haven't spotted the fake bling, the sunglasses indoors, the barbed wire (Chinese symbol or tribal) tattoo and none of our steps have helped you, there is one final hint as to whether or not the man is a shower pocket.

A shower pocket's brain is not located in his cock, like normal, regular, manly-men. Oh no, his brain is actually located...

IN HIS ABS!

(DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THEM.)

Yes ladies! If they aren't wearing a v-neck, their hair doesn't resemble a porcupine, they aren't at da club and their pick up lines aren't completely repulsive then your final way of recognizing a shower pocket is by whether or not they: 1) show you their abs, 2) have pictures of themselves half-naked readily available for you to view or 3) the number they give is not their telephone number, but instead, the number of weight they bench press.

This is a significant indication that this man will take more time getting ready than you. He will go shopping with you only because he will be able to look at himself in every mirror, in every store. His severe manorexia will eventually lead to your own self-esteem issues, costing you thousands in pschological medical bills. Trust us. We're saving you money, here.

In conclusion, shower pockets are everywhere. They come in every size, shape and color. There are a variety of different genres and styles of shower pockets. But knowing the essence of a shower pocket and the best ways to spot them will only help protect you from becoming "Shower Pocket of the Week" or from an encounter that you WILL regret.

If you still need assistance identifying whether or not your boyfriend, friend or lover is a shower pocket, please click here or visit the infamous Hot Chicks with Douchebags website.

If you know a shower pocket (male or female!) that you would like to see be "Shower Pocket of the Week", please send your images to thesunnysides@live.com.